More About Spiders

Today Emily took the kids to the Butterfly Pavilion...a sweet little nature museum not too far from where I work. The Pavilion has a large simulated tropical atmosphere with hundreds upon hundreds of exotic butterflies flying free amongst flowers and trees and plants and visitors. It has been a few years since Liam has been there, and Sawyer has never been so today was a good opportunity for them to explore. Besides butterflies, the Pavilion is also home to some water creatures (stingrays, starfish, etc.) as well as lots and lots of bugs. Apparently when they arrived today Liam saw a crowd of kids waiting in line and so he joined them. Emily asked him, "Buddy do you know what you are waiting in line for?" Liam answered, "No, what??" and Emily informed him it was to pet "Rosie", the Tarantula. Liam said "Yeah!" and eagerly waited his turn to hold Rosie, which he did with much glee. Sawyer and Sam on the other hand elected NOT to touch Rosie...in fact Sawyer clung to Emily's side in an attempt to get as far away from Rosie as he could. Based on Ken's recent spider bite, I don't think that reaction is such a bad one.

Not the way to start your day

I have mentioned that Sawyer has been a bit of a "challenge" lately. Cutting more teeth combined with being nearly 18 months old with a limited vocabulary is frustrating, I am sure. At least this is what I keep telling myself when I feel like locking him in his room. This morning he woke up earlier than normal, angry and screaming. There is no escalation period...he goes from 0 to irate in 3 seconds flat. I hopped out of the shower and got dressed and went to get him and he calmed down. I brought him into our room and let him sit on the bed ( a giant king with a log frame). Normally he sits there while I stand near him drying my hair. Today Liam decided to climb on the bed, which meant both boys started giggling and moving all around. I told them to SIT! and they did. This is when Sawyer decided to test me by leaning over the edge of the bed, smirking up at me as I yelled "Sawyer NO!!!!" Even though I was less than a foot away I was not fast enough to grab him as he fell in a sickening thud on his neck off the bed. It *STILL* makes me ill to picture it again--him sliding off and landing face up towards the ceiling. I yelled and grabbed him up and took him downstairs to Ken (always the calm one) and he got him to quiet down and stop crying (he is of the "stop crying and it won't hurt" mentality. I am of the "oh my God I've killed him" mentality). After a few minutes he stopped crying and resumed running around and scaling things as usual but still...it makes me ill to think about what could have happened.

Between Sam breaking her arm and my grandfather shattering his hip on Sunday I am on heightened alert--although evidently not enough or it wouldn't have happened in the first place. :-(

Just like his brother

Today is Sunday and I had high hopes of getting some stuff done around the house aside from the usual cleaning/laundry/grocery shopping that must be done. I had wanted to organize the one thousand pieces of paperwork floating around our bedroom. A new Container Store just opened up nearby and I had plans to make a pilgrimage there for inspiration. In reality, the thought of dragging both boys to a large store opening made me reevaluate (Ken is still feeling poorly so I am on boy duty). Both boys have been...less than optimal today. Sawyer especially has been in full blown turd mode, bouncing from one forbidden thing to the next. Much to my dismay, he has learned how to storm up to his room, slam the door and sulk when he is angry. I witnessed this today *multiple* times and each time he did it I was left speechless. Earlier today I was vacuuming and Sawyer wanted the attachments and I would not let him have them. He went crying upstairs to his room and shut the door. I went in and opened it and he ran out making a break for the vacuum attachment. When I grabbed the attachment back he ran back into his room and shut the door. This went on for about 20 minutes--I would peek in and he would just be playing or sitting on his chair. When he would see me he would give me the "Well I see you've come to your senses!" look and run after the attachment. Then we would repeat the process all over again.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he has picked up on Liam's moody tirades. I know that he learns all sorts of things from his brother, good and not-so-good. I just wish I could encourage more of the good stuff.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider...

Before I begin my tale, let me preface it by saying I am NOT afraid of spiders. Never have been (unlike my sister who can have a panic attack at the sight of a Daddy Long Legs). Liam seems to have inherited my non-fear of spiders. He loves them and talks about them often in a positive light. So imagine his confusion when Ken woke up yesterday quite ill from an apparent spider bite on his lip. Ken fell asleep on the couch the night before and when he woke up he had two puncture marks in his lip. Later that day he started to feel lousy and by night he had flu-like symptoms (fever, cramps, headache, etc.). After *MUCH* "overreacting" and nagging on my part, I convinced him he needed to see a doctor (I made the appointment). Long story short: he had an obvious bad reaction to the bite. They prescribed some hard-core antibiotics and steroids to fight off secondary infections (like Staph). It is day three and he still feels rather lousy. Liam told me last night that he thought "Daddy had been bit by a Spiderman" and I assured him that he had not. This morning Ken woke up and took a vacuum to all the corners of the basement and living room to suck up any offenders. Hopefully that will be the last bite we see.

All Apologies...

Sorry for the lack of posts this week...between work and home I am totally crispy fried. I promise to try and post some updates soon.

PS-I just got a call from Emily telling me that Sam, Liam's best buddy is undergoing surgery today for a broken arm. Apparently she fell last night at her house and injured herself pretty badly so she will be out of commission for a while. We feel like Sammy is one of our own so it breaks my heart to hear she is hurt. Liam has already made her a card. We'll go see her when she is able to have visitors.

Think good thoughts for a speedy recovery...

Crazy

So Friday and Saturday we got pummeled with snow and sleet and rain, then snow and rain and sleet. We had inches of the stuff dumped on us (some areas had THREE FEET). Today, Sunday, it is almost all gone. The sun came out with a fury and melted it all away. Our house sits on top of a slight hill so the water/meltoff drains down the street into a drainage pipe which the boys discovered and became obsessed with. Sawyer figured it out pretty quickly that if he dropped something into the water, it would get whooshed down the street and into the drain. Over and over and over they would drop things into the water and then run down the sidewalk, then peer into the drain then repeat. It didn't matter what it was: rocks, dandilions, sticks or a paintbrush (yes, a house painter's paintbrush) it went down the drain. Since I am a nervous nelly I had to constantly remind the boys NOT to get too close to the drain for fear they could get sucked down. Liam understood and would lay on his tummy on the sidewalk and peer over the curb but Sawyer...kept trying to get a closer look. The whole thing made me a neurotic mess. The woman who lives on the corner by the drain had her two little girls out (equally fascinated by the drain). I pointed out how a child could get sucked down that drain if the current were strong enough and she too became horrified. The water running into the ditch on our street was not THAT strong, but it was strong enough in my opinion to intrigue a little shaver to try and get a closer look. I'll be glad when the snow is all melted and evaporated which by the forecast, should be mid week (near 80!)

Until then, I need to reinforce that it is NOT anything to play around.

Now I know why some species devour their young...

The boys are driving me nuts today...if they are not running around shrieking and sticking their fingers in each other's eyes, ears and nose then they are doing everything they are NOT supposed to do. Beanie is especially delighting in repetitive acts of rebellion guaranteed to drive me to drink before noon. I feel like all I have done is yell "NO!" and "Don't Touch!" and GET OFF YOUR BROTHER!" all day long. I pray to all-that-is-holy that tomorrow it will be a day of no rain/snow/slush and I can send these children outside to play and burn off steam and not destroy what is left of my nervous system...

Diagnosis Confirmed!

Sawyer indeed has eczema. She prescribed a steiroidal cream to use for the next few weeks and then as needed for flare ups. I need to switch to some non-fragrance/chemical soaps for him and watch closely if anything he eats triggers the episodes. Baby has some sensitive skin!

PS-Yes, we ARE getting snow today. Lots of heavy, wet slushy snow

PS...

Beanie has a doctor's appointment in the morning. I haven't mentioned it prior to now but the poor little bunny has been dealing with a lingering rash on the backs of his kneecaps which has grown, and now, the nape of his neck. After doing a bit of research, I am guessing he has eczema. Some kids develop it on their cheeks and behind their ears...and I am NOW wondering if some of "dry skin patches" he gets on his cheeks and behind his ears and on his arms are really eczema?

Snow?? Seriously?

Ugh. It would appear we are getting an entire year's worth of precipitation in the month of April. We are bracing tonight for a potentially doozy of a winter storm. Slow moving, heavy, wet snow. Some parts of the mountains are expecting 3 FEET (yes, FEET) of snow. Down here we could get 16 inches if the temps are right. The storm starts tonight after midnight and carries through until Saturday. By Monday it is going to be up in the 70's and it will all be gone, but still, multiple feet of snow right now makes me sad...

That book

I have talked about my growing inaptitude to think of new ideas. My "creativity constipation". My Designers/Illustrator's Block. Dudsville. When I am trying to generate ideas I surround myself with anything inspiring; design books, illustration websites, gossip blogs, etc. As of presstime, I am working on some ideas for work, or rather, SHOULD be working on. While looking through books, magazines, etc. for inspiration my mind instead keeps wandering off to the children's book I have never written or illustrated--i.e. the dream I have had since I was 5 years old.(Mom, do you remember the time I wrote a book and cut my own hair to illustrate the pictures with?) I will do this periodically...get all fired up about illustrating and writing that book and then I get mentally derailed by lack of confidence (I'm not a writer!), lack of originality (every idea is taken!) and general lack of energy (why won't these boys sleep?!). I have started that book about a thousand different times over the years and here I am, 38 and still that book eludes me. I take the boys to the library for our weekly pilgrimage more for my own need to be inspired then for their amusement. (as proven by Liam's "this is lame!" comment). I scour the shelves until a beautifully illustrated book pops out at me and I snag it and put it in my, I mean, OUR check out bag.

I am not sure who gets more excited about the books, Liam or me. Liam has always been a book lover. Even when he was very small he could easily sit on my lap for as many books as I could stand to read. Beanie, however, has shown little interest in books other than to hurl them at the floor, chew on the edges or rip off any flap that has the misfortune to catch his attention. I will admit that he is showing at least a bit more interest. (The other day I managed to hurriedly read 5 pages of Goodnight Moon. A new record.) As for my own pretend book...I have decided that if I am ever to write such a thing I am going to need to forget any delusions of writing it for the masses, getting noticed and established as a bona fide Children's Book illustrator/writer, and making enough money to finally work from home doing what I love. Instead, I need to just write a book that my boys would like hearing me read and with pictures that would keep their interest and just forget about anyone else ever seeing it. If it makes my boys happy then that will be good enough for me.

Let that be a lesson to you!

Happy Easter! Our day started out earlier than usual...with Sawyer sounding the alarm at 6:15 and then Liam bounding out of bed claiming to have seen Easter eggs all over the back yard (this after he bounded out of bed at 10:30pm the night before claiming to have seen Easter eggs all over the back yard...in the dark). We shut them both back in their rooms and told them there would be no Easter egg hunting until at least 7:00. Liam must have called out every ten minutes "is it time yet?!" After making them eat some breakfast we set them loose. Liam had all eggs collected within minutes and Sawyer had no interest until AFTER Liam had all the eggs collected, when he picked each one up and said "Ball!" and then threw them. Liam found both baskets shortly after then it was game over. The EB brought mostly small toys, books and crafts instead of mostly candy so they were happy.

Later in the morning I took the dogs for a run on a trail not too far from my office. It is a big open space with lots of rolling trails. What I like about it is that I can see for miles so if anyone is coming I can grab the pups and get them out of the way. I can also see any rogue coyotes from afar too. Today was cool and windy and there was no one on the trail except prairie dogs and two coyotes. I put the pups back on the leash and continued to run until I felt comfortable that they were safely out of coyote range. I let them off, bounded up a hill and came face to face with a park ranger...who promptly issued me a ticket for having the dogs off leash. $100 bucks for this first time violation. I was so ticked...there was NO ONE on trail...this guy must have been laying in wait for some poor sucker such as myself. THere are many parts of the trail that are voice and sound command but unfortunately this was not one of them. Arghhh. NOT money well spent.

I came home, took a shower then decided to put the Easter baskets away (Sawyer became obsessed with throwing them on the floor and emptying their contents). I ran upstairs while Ken was sitting downstairs with the boys having snack and tried to put stuff away. I wasn't able to reach the top closet shelf so I stood up on top of Liam's rubbermaid toy bin. Before I knew it the bin slid out and I went flying to the floor landing on Liam's fully assembled train set. Ken called up to see if I was ok and Sawyer kept saying "Uh Oh! Uh Oh! Oh No!" After I caught my breath I limped downstairs and looked at the boys and said "let that be a lesson to you boys! THAT is why we don't stand up on things that we're not supposed to!"

Arghhh.

Update:

The nice Education Coordinator at the Arts Center is creating an extra spot in the summer art camp just for Liam. YEAH!!! I told her he was skinny and wouldn't take up much room... ;-)

Darn the Luck

I have been toying all winter with enrolling Liam in a summer arts program at the really wonderful Arts Center. The class teaches art, dance and drama for little shavers and encourages them to build self confidence. It is an 8 week class this summer. Liam was VERY excited by it. I hesitated to enroll him because of timing (classes start at 9:00am and run to about lunch) but Emily was confident and amendable to taking and picking up the kids so I decided to pursue it. I asked Sam's mom Kristin if they would like to enroll Sam...if she wasn't interested Liam wouldn't get to go...since whatever one does schedule wise the other has to do. Kristin emailed me back today and said she'd love to enroll Sam. I sent her the instructions how to register online and proceeded to do the same for Liam.

Sam got in. Liam didn't.

Apparently when we both hit "register now" Kristin took the last slot. I am border-line devastated by this. Liam REALLy wanted to do this camp and now it appears he cannot. I have a call into the Education Coordinator to see if either they can squeeze Liam in or refund Kristin's money since she won't do it if Liam can't. Sam & Liam are a packaged deal. Hopefully the coordinator will take pity on our plight...but knowing my luck...probably not.

I feel like a rusty, broken down old truck

I am not quite sure why, but I have always identified with rusty, old trucks. Maybe it is because I grew up in the country and a rusty old truck was never far from view. There is something almost comforting to me when I see an old truck-I think because it reminds me of home and the old red, delapidated truck that used to rest in our barn. (Or maybe it was my grandfather's barn or maybe both? My memory fails me...) In any case, I have always been able to identify with those old trucks. They might not look that great, they may be beat up and bruised but once you got them going...they could go forever. Whenever I set out for a run I imagine myself like an old truck. It might take three or so miles to get warmed up but once I do...I can go forever. (forever being 26.2 miles--I haven't tested the theory past that distance). But eventually even the old trucks give up the ghost and can't keep running like they used to. Despite their best efforts they are limited to the confines of their frames, engines and tires. This is how I have been feeling recently. Despite my best intentions my body is feeling very broken down. Tired. Flat. Out of gas.

I set out for my runs and am immediately overcome with a heaviness in my legs and a deep fatigue. I am not sleeping--I cannot physically get comfortable so I toss and turn and almost wish for morning. I feel like I am crushing myself with my own body mass. My hips and back are sore and ache and I don't know why. I am not running a lot. I eased back after the snowboarding fall. I have been cross training more and taking it relatively easy. I refuse to believe that these legs and lumbar discs have too much mileage on them. I still intend to run a marathon in the fall. I just need to find some sort of relief for this tired achey feeling. I realized a few years ago that the times I used to run are probably a memory and that just to be able to get out and go the distance is reward enough (it is). All that I ask is that I feel good doing it again because lately...this old truck is a mess.

Your Daily Liam

Yesterday it was a snowy blustery day. I did NOT feel like leaving the house because it is officially Spring and I cannot bear to be cold...not even for a minute.

Liam : "Mommy-why can't we go somewhere fun today??"

Me: "Because Mommy feels really tired and cold and I don't want to go out today. Besides, I took you to the library yesterday...wasn't that fun?"

Liam: "Mommy! The library is LAME!"

Me: (astonished at him using the word "lame") "Lame?! Why do you think it is lame? You LOVE books..."

Liam: "Yes Mommy, I DO love books but the library is LAME! It is not a fun place...there are no toys there and no games!"


I guess he has a point.

Sweet Syllables

Recently, Sawyer has discovered that if he says "Mama!" I will answer. This has brought him countless minutes of self amusement. All weekend long he would peek his round face around a corner and say "Ma-maaaa!" and I would answer, "Saw-yerrrrr!" This would just make him giggle and repeat the game. Last night as I was doing dishes it was getting close to his bedtime and I could tell he was getting tired. He pitter-pattered his little feet across the floor and said sweetly "MaMaaaa" and then rested his head against my leg and hugged my knees. He did this several times until I carried him up to bed. I tucked him in, along with Elmo and Elmo Baby (a smaller version of Elmo--both hand-me-downs that Liam generously gave him once he noticed Beanie's interest) and told him that I loved him and blew him a kiss. He looked up at me and said "Mama..." then sweetly blew me a kiss goodnight.

Sigh. I am convinced that "Ma Ma" are the two greatest syllables ever uttered anywhere in time.

Dichotomy of Two Boys

Every child is different. This goes without saying, but never is it more apparent then when my two boys awake in the morning.

Liam awakes with sunshine oozing out of every pore. He bounds out of bed (usually talking or singing to himself) and proceeds to get dressed, go to the bathroom and make his way down to food. (He must eat as soon as possible). The moment he sees you he usually launches into a barrage of questions or observations..."Silly Spring! Why is is still snowing? Isn't that just SO silly Mommy?! Doesn't Spring know it is time for sunshine?! SIlly Spring!!!"

Then, there is Sawyer...

Sawyer awakes with an agonizing furry. Typically it involves much wailing and thrashing about in his crib, followed by indignant cries and heavy sobs as if to say "Where WERE you????! What took you so long?? Don't you know I need you this instant?!". After rescuing him from his crib he clings to you like a baby marsupial for a long, long time. Typically the wake-up process takes a good half hour, sometimes longer. Eventually, after he feels he has suffered enough injustice, he allows himself to be fed. And then, only after he is fed and hydrated and adequately hugged does he awake fully, ready to conquer the day and anyone taking care of him.

It is at this time of the day that both boys moods collide and gel and they begin to play together and/or fight and equillibreum is once again restored.

Creativity Constipation

It is nearly 11:00pm and I am surfing the web hoping to be struck with some great idea for a major work presentation in the morning and I have NOTHING. NADA. ZIP. I have said it before but I must emphasize that I am creatively tapped out. I quite literally have nothing in my head and honestly, I am to the point where I feel incapable of even caring. I suppose this is the designer's version of writer's block and it is paralyzing. There is something to be said for needing to come up with a great idea by the morning that makes me capable of doing anything BUT. I am seriously considering exploring other career paths. I just don't enjoy this anymore and I no longer feel any good at it. I feel creatively constipated. I feel mentally indifferent. I have nothing left to give them and no matter how hard people push I just can't force it to happen. If only I could. :-(

Whoa Baby!!!

And before you get excited, NO...we are NOT expecting another bundle (as I make the sign of the cross), but we did learn today that our friend is expecting. Baby number THREE! The crazy thing is that our friend is 44 years old and will be 45 a month after baby girl is born. WOW. I am still reeling from the news (and no, it is no April Fool's Day joke!). I feel tired and run down at 38 with two little ones...I can't imagine adding a third 7 years from now! Most days I am fairly certain that our two guys are plenty. But then there are tiny, fractions of a second that I wonder...hmmmm. What if?