Sometimes, there just aren't enough rocks...

One of my favorite movie quotes of all time is from Forrest Gump. It is the scene where after Jennie's father dies, she and Forrest go back to the run down shack where she grew up. She becomes so overwhelmed with sadness, anger, and grief that she starts pitching rocks at the windows in the house. She throws rock after rock and cries harder and harder which each throw until Forrest says "Sometimes, there just aren't enough rocks..." and I totally get that.

Due to a sudden and unexpected death in the family, I will be off the blog for a while as I try to help out in any way that I can. I don't anticipate being away too long, but I didn't want people to wonder/worry why after 5 or 6 days time they hadn't heard an update.

Until then,
L

My Poor Sweet Baby

My youngest cub has a horrible cold and it is breaking my heart. Every morning when I go in to get him his sweet little nose is caked with snot and those big blue eyes are watering and he just looks miserable. When he tries to drink his bottle he has to work so hard because he is so congested. But typical Beanie, despite feeling like garbage he manages to consistently maintain his sweet disposition, grinning up at us with his toothy little smile, watery eyes and runny nose. He does however DETEST having his nose wiped or face cleaned and will put up a huge fight. Somehow he has learned to wipe his nose on my shoulder before I can get to it first which while disgusting, is highly effective. HE is one smart cookie--just like his big brother.

Get well soon Beanie!!!

WOW.

I just watched history being made right before my eyes as Barak Obama accepted his nomination tonight right here in Denver. I was moved to tears more than a few times as he spoke so powerfully and honestly, and even before that, when the "regular Americans" gave their speeches. Amazing, wonderful, powerful. Barak's nomination actually gives me hope for the future that my children will inherit.

Here is hoping...

Your Daily Liam

This week marks the second week of preschool for Liam. So far he has been totally in love with everything at Happy Valley and every day that he goes to school I ask him "So did you make any new friends at school today?" and every time he tells me "No, I just played with Sam." (Sam is his best friend and the little girl who we do the nannyshare with everyday). Well today I finally found out the reason *why* he only plays with Sam...it's because Sam won't let Liam play with other kids. Today when I asked him why he didn't play with other kids he said "Sam won't let me. We just play together." I said "You mean Sam doesn't want you to make new friends??" and Liam replied "No, it's only me and Sam. We want to be together." I knew from Emily that Sam can be a bit bossy with Liam, but I had no idea how much. Emily predicted that when the kids went off to school, Liam would be the one to make friends and Sam would be the one ordering him only to play with her and apparently that is the way it is going. Liam's teacher called me tonight to discuss his drooling problem (another topic, another time). When I asked her if Liam was getting teased because of his drooling she reassured me that this was not the case at all and that he was happy and friendly with EVERYONE and that he was "a total joy" in her class and that she loved his big smile and enthusiasm. She also said "Sam seems particularly attached to Liam and insists on always being near him." So it would appear that at four years old, Liam already has a controlling and possessive girlfriend who wears the pants in the relationship.

Waxing Nostalgic for the Vertebrae of my Youth

I am disturbed that lately, every morning, I find it increasingly difficult to get moving when I get out of bed. My lower back is SO incredibly sore and stiff, I resemble an old piece of lawn equipment left out to rust in the rain. Once I get up, take a steaming hot shower and limber up, I'm fine but the first initial hour or so it is SLOW going. Grant it, I did have back surgery 19 months ago and I am schlepping around a 22 pound butterball everyday so that might have something to do with it...

The Frustration Factor

This is Liam riding his brand new bike for the second time. The inaugural ride lasted about 20 seconds and ended in tears as Liam stomped off declaring he "never wanted to ride the bike again." You see, Mr. Liam is a perfectionist. If he can't get something right away he gets VERY upset and doesn't want to do it anymore. This is a MAJOR sticking point with me however. If there is one thing I won't tolerate it is giving up easily. Anybody who knows me well can tell you that I am as stubborn and determined as they come but that I NEVER give up. Even if it means running the Boston marathon with a fever and a respiratory infection or doing the Philly marathon with a stress fracture I keep going. (I never said I was smart, however).

So after much coaxing and explaining to Liam that everything takes time and practice the first few times you try we were able to convince him to get back on the bike. The second ride lasted a bit longer. He went from crying to smiling and exclaiming proudly "I didn't quit!!" then back to crying and telling us he was "mad because we made him practice stopping." He has the going forward part down pretty well, but stopping?? Not so much. He just lets the bike careen down the hill until we run after him. He borders on being totally terrified of the bike to really enjoying the small bursts of movement he can generate. He does look pretty gosh durn cute in the helmet though, doesn't he?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET BOY!!!!!

Four years ago today I was watching the women's Olympic marathon while laboring with my first boy. I don't really remember who won the gold medal that year, but I do know what I won that day--my empathetic and sweet, highly intelligent, super silly, always affectionate oldest boy. When Liam woke up and realized it was his birthday, we went downstairs to where I had decorated the kitchen. After breakfast he asked me with a bit of a frown, "So are you going to take down the decorations now?" I said "No buddy--it's still your birthday! We'll leave them up." He smiled and said, "It's my birthday...ALL day???!!!" And when I said "Yes--ALL day!!" He skipped off smiling. Here are a few pics from the special day.

After a breakfast of smily face chocolate chip pancakes (pictured), then a full day of fun at the zoo and a cookout with friends, Liam got to eat his very special Firetruck cake that Ken made. We couldn't get the food coloring to be "red" for fear of creating a toxic frosting, but you get the idea (oreo wheels, licorice fire ladder, gumdrop sirens and headlights). Liam LOVED his cake and must have told Ken a thousand times "That is the BEST birthday cake EVER Daddy!!!!!" All in all, he had a great day. We all did.

First Day of Preschool!

Today is Liam's first day at Happy Valley and Liam "is SO exciting!" He has only been asking about it for the past two months nearly every other hour.

And Little brother Beanie is happy too. See his teeth?

YUCK

This is a little gross discovery Ken made when I got back from my 20 miler this morning. My brand spanking new running shoes are now a lovely blood stained red. We've had an extraordinary amount of rain and because of it, the once hard-as-rock dirt trails are quagmires of mud and clay. While I was trying to run through the muck on my rainy long run this morning my shoes sank ankle deep in the mud and I kicked up a stone that must have wedged itself in the back of my shoe. I was at the half way point in the run and it started to lightning so I decided to ignore the sharp object in my shoe in the interest of not getting zapped by 1 billion volts of electricity. I think I made the right choice even despite the gory, bloody shoe.

Brrrrrrrrrr! What is with all this wet stuff?

Shivers! The temperature has dropped DRAMATICALLY and I am scrambling trying to find warm clothes to dress the cubs. Beanie has outgrown everything and when Liam put on his jeans this morning they were about an inch too short. It's amazing how much growing takes place in 3 months time. Apparently the weather is supposed to be cold, rainy and grey all weekend. I think the high is supposed to be 63 and VERY wet. It should be a cold and miserably wet 21 mile long run tomorrow.

Ugh.

Your Daily Liam

Last night Ken and I stayed up WAY too late watching the Olympics so this morning I felt like I had Olympics Hangover. I went to bed about two hours later than I should have. Beanie was up a few times last night miserable with his cold so I didn't get a lot of sleep. Liam woke up early and came into our room. Ken was already up getting ready for work and Liam said "Shhhhh Daddy! Mommy is resting so please be quiet!" Ken laughed and said "I'll try my best buddy." and then went into the shower. Liam then marched over to my side of the bed and stood about an inch from my ear and said rather loudly, "Mommy! I just told Daddy that he needs to be quiet so he doesn't wake you up, ok???!"

I thanked him for being so considerate. Then I got up and ate about 50 chocolate covered espresso beans for breakfast. Later today I might summit Everest. Or orbit the earth a few times propelled by my own caffeine-induced jet fuel. Or maybe both--the day is still young...

"I am SO exciting!"

School starts today for the area young'uns--which just boggles my mind. It seems like every year it starts earlier and earlier. Liam begins two half days a week at his new preschool starting next week. When I reminded him of this today he jumped up and down and said, "Mommy I am SO exciting!!" It always cracks me up when he says things like this. My all time favorite however, is when he wakes up and says, "Good morning tonight!" Gets me every time.

Good morning tonight, friends!

Motivation

I had a GREAT run today. It is the first time in a while that I haven't felt beat down before, during and after my run. I think it might be because yesterday was a cut back week and I only ran for an hour verses three plus hours. Yesterday when I got back from my run I almost felt like I cheated somehow, because I wasn't totally exhausted to the point of wanting to cry. Normally on Mondays I take the day off but since yesterday was so easy, I had extra energy to burn and so I do what I normally do when I am feeling stressed: I run.

Today was doubly sweet. I received an email from a friend (actually he used to be my boss's boss back in the day) who has been diagnosed with a wicked and rare blood disease. I was SO saddened to hear the news about his diagnosis. I sent him a little note to let him know I was thinking of him and that I believed if anyone could kick this thing, it is him. He and his family have always been so amazingly kind to me. Years ago when I was dealing with my own personal crisis they were so supportive. Simply put--they are good people through and through. So when I heard about what he and his family are going through I made a plan to show my support one of the best ways I know how: through running. I decided to dedicate my fall marathon to Jeff (also a marathoner). I plan on designing a cool shirt with Jeff's name on it. I have some other ideas too but I will save those for later. I feel like it is the least I can do.

So the second reason today was sweet: Jeff emailed me to let me know he was really touched by my plans to run for him. I think maybe in some way running a marathon is allegorical to what he is going through, if only slightly. I was so very happy and lifted by his message--it gives me the extra oomph to get out and log those miles even if I don't feel up to it. I am running this race for him until he is able to run it himself someday.

This one is for you Jeff.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far from the Tree

My oldest cub has suddenly become obsessed with painting. He loves it and asks to do it nearly every day. I understandably am *thrilled* with this new development. Up until now, I was fairly certain that he had zero interest in anything art-related. Most days he prefers to erect massive and intricate structures with legos and Lincoln Logs. I tried for years to spark his interest in art but to no avail. He just couldn't be bothered with paint and crayons and glue and the like when there were things to be built. I just assumed he had inherited the engineering gene from the Grundmann side and had bypassed the art genes altogether.

But alas! The art gene has surfaced!! And with it, the frustration, dedication and sometimes kooky behavior that we artist types tend to exhibit from time to time.

Case in point: Last night Liam was painting at the dinner table while I was putting the Bean to bed and Ken was cooking dinner. Liam was working really hard on covering the bottom part of the paper with green. "It's a tree, Mommy. Isn't it so beautiful?" I agreed that it indeed was beautiful and I encouraged him to keep working on it while I put Sawyer to bed. Somewhere in the course of the next 10 minutes Liam had a meltdown and ended up being sent to his room. When I went out to ask what was wrong Ken looked at me and said "Tempermental artist!!!" Then he told me that he had made the unfortunate mistake of suggesting to Liam that he "Use some other colors too and maybe make leaves on his tree.." Liam took his advise but was VERY upset by the result. Ken sent him upstairs to wash the paint off his hands and cool off. When he felt more calm he was told to come back downstairs. After 5 minutes of him crying Ken suggested that I go up and talk to him since he felt a bit helpless to offer a good solution for him.

So I went into his room to see him laying on the floor crying in a pile of his blocks. He looked up at me and said "I want Daddy to come up here, not you." I told him that I needed to talk to hi for a minute. When I asked him what was wrong he said "Daddy ruined my painting! He put red on my tree but now it is ruined!!" I then spent the next ten minutes telling him how some of the best discoveries happen as a result of "happy accidents." He dried his tears and agreed to try again. I am happy to report that he spent another 10 minutes on his painting and he was VERY proud of it when he was done. He looked at Ken & I with pride and said "Isn't my beautiful painting just so...beautiful???"

Yes buddy. It IS beautiful--but not nearly as beautiful as you are!

Breakfast with the Bean

I think you might even see some teeth here.

Story Time by Liam

For Liam's camera time this morning he chose to tell a story. I'm not sure what it is about, exactly, but I DO know it involves polka dots, Ralston and building with blocks. I think.

Enjoy!!!

Well At Least it is Friday

Arghhhhhhhhh!! What a morning! Liam was in total full-blown defiant turd mode this morning and it was wearing me OUT. This is in stark contrast to the total angel he was yesterday. It seems like lately the turd days and the angel days are half and half (although this week definitely more turdy). Last night he peed the bed around 1:30 (but only a little bit). I think that he actually might have caught himself and stopped--which is great. However when I went in to get him to get up and get him changed he had a MAJOR meltdown. Yelling and crying LOUDLY and refusing to do anything. He would NOT get up and try to pee for anything. NOT cool at any time but especially not cool at 1:30 AM. I really think he gets so tired (he went to bed an hour later which is another story altogether) that he just can't think rationally. If I have to be fair I guess most people don't think rationally when disrupted from a sound sleep--except for me. I am so used to being jarred from sleep that it's commonplace. Which probably explains my perpetually exhausted, tired and grouchy state as of late. But I digress.

I warned him that if he had another accident that night because he refused to get up and pee he would NOT be watching his beloved Disney shows first thing in the morning. So what happens at 4:45am?? He SOAKS the bed. Grrrrrr. He looks up at me smiles and says "Is it morning time now?" I tell him "Don't even THINK about it Pal!" and go downstairs to do a load of pee laundry. I lay back down and 20 minutes later Sawyer is up wailing. I get him fed and back to bed and Liam then appears ready for breakfast. After he eats he asks for his show and I tell him NO and remind him of why he is not allowed to watch them. I reinforce that he is not in trouble for having an accident but rather for NOT listening to me and going to the Potty. This is when he kicked in to Turd mode. When everything goes Liam's way (or the way he feels it should go) he is so good and sweet. However if his plans get disrupted--watch out. Hell hath no furry like a Liam who hasn't slept and/or watched Little Einsteins.

Sidebar: So why is it that it always falls on the MOM's shoulders to clean up wet beds? Pukey beds? Poopie pants? etc.??? When any of these things happen it is like Ken suddenly becomes visually and hearing impaired.

Big turd.

PS: HAPPY 9 MONTH BIRTHDAY BEANIE!!!!! :-)

Some Days I Feel So Overwhelmed

This morning I pried myself out of bed to go tend to my cubs. I was tired from a night of prying myself out of bed tending to my oldest cub. For some reason Liam kept waking up crying and writhing that his leg hurt. Well actually, at first it was his foot. Then his toes. Then strangely, the "owie" jumped to the other leg and right into his shin. I started to get the feeling that I was being played. I got angry and more than a little annoyed because said crying went on off and on all night. I would get up and hiss "Liam-You are OK!!! STOP THIS NOW." And then he would cry and tell me his leg hurt and cry for a bandaid. Then I would tell myself "Well maybe his leg really DOES hurt. How am I to know??". Then I would feel guilty. Then I would spend ten minutes rubbing his legs feeling like the worst Mom ever. I finally ended up giving him some Motrin at 4:30 then dragging myself to bed to await The Bean's awakening.

When Liam woke up at 6:30 he was SUPER chipper. He bounded downstairs and said "Mommy!!!!! My leg feels better!!! Can I have some cereal??" Whether or not his leg was hurting, I just can't say. Maybe it was a cramp? I know I used to get them all the time when I was growing up (and still do--but that is usually after a hard workout). However Liam also has become a master thespian recently so who knows? Sidenote: He informed us this morning "Someday when I grow up, I am going to be a PRETEND singer!" which is probably good. Real singers can get into all sorts of trouble.

Enter the Bean. He woke up initially chipper then turned instantly into a crying, snot-drenched thrasher. I was trying to get dressed and he would climb up my leg crying wanting to be held (Ken of course was already on his way to work. Lovely.). Every time I would try and get dressed or even run a comb through my hair he would cry and look up at me. So I would pick him up and his snotty nose would just gush and he would thrash around in my arms like he wanted to get down. So I would put him down and we would repeat the drill. It's almost as if he was saying "For God's sake woman FIGURE OUT WHAT I WANT ALREADY!" He was a mess and thanks to his faucet nose, so was I. Eventually I got him calmed down enough that he could sit and eat and afterwards he seemed much more like his sweet self. I told you, the boy likes his vittles. I was able to throw on some different snot-free clothes and limp out the door only 15 minutes late but only after cleaning up a gallon of water the dogs sent flying when they kicked over their dog dish on the quest for squirrels and only after cleaning up the Chai that bubbled up over the stove while I was cleaning up the gallon of water the dogs sent flying.

I was thinking on the drive in to work that I feel like I am moderately failing at all things or minimally succeeding, depending on how you view your glass. Today I think mine is half empty.

More Nightmare Fodder

I just heard on the news that a small town about 20 minutes away from here had a rather pesky mountain lion harassing residents. Apparently the big cat broke into the home of a couple who left their french doors open to catch some cool breezes. The cat got scared away when the homeowner turned on the light, but not before the cat ran off into the hillside with their big Labrador in its jaws, killing it. Another neighbor heard the lion (presumably the same one) clawing at her door and window trying to get in.

Shudder.

I already have nightmares about bears picking the locks to get into my house. Now I have to worry about mountain lions even though they are highly unlikely to ever venture this far down the mountain into Suburbia. I think.

Postscript: Due to the erratic behavior of the lion, a trap was set and the cat was caught and put down.

Breakfast—The Most Important MEALS of the Day

You know what your Mom always said about the importance of eating a healthy breakfast--at our house, we eat multiple breakfasts. I am convinced that I have given birth to Hobbits. Liam's usual morning routine is to get up and bide his time patiently (usually 5 minutes) before becoming *FAMISHED* and needing food STAT. Then he gobbles down his first breakfast and will go and play then come back a half hour later for second breakfast. Then repeat the drill anywhere from 10 minutes to one hour later. He usually eats breakfasts all the way up until lunch.

Then we have the Bean. He is ALWAYS serious about breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. He likey the foodstuffs.

Tired. Blehhhh

I don't really have anything of interest to report. I am tired and I have a touch of a headache. It's Monday and I am resting here at work. I say "resting" because it is about the only part of the day/week where I get to sit down and not wrangle boys. Of course what do I do while I am at work? I stare at pictures of my boys and count down the hours until I get to see/hug/kiss/squeeze and play with them. Sigh. Sweet little turkeys.

A Little Bit O' Sawyer

Here is the Bean on the move. As always. Busy, busy, busy. As I was giving him a bath tonight and he was climbing all over the tub, trying to stand up, trying to put his head under the faucet, and trying to climb OUT of the tub it occurred to me that I don't ever recall Liam being this active. Which has me worried because Liam isn't exactly what I'd call "sedentary." Oy.

Inferno, USA

I know I keep lamenting about how hot it is here...and you all are probably like "Yeah, yeah you SAY that it is hot. But at least you don't have humidity!!" Which is true. We don't have humidity. Because it is SO STINKING HOT any form of moisture would evaporate in milliseconds. I think it's because of that whole "closer to the sun thing" that makes it so dry. We're topping out at 102 or 103 today with no end in sight. If you want to know what a Colorado sun feels like turn on an oven and set to "broil". Then wrap yourself in foil, open up the door and climb inside and shut it. Repeat for 20 plus days in a row ("a new Colorado record!!"). Don't get me wrong, I am not really complaining (winter will be here soon enough). It is more of me marveling at HOW STINKING HOT it gets here (oh wait, did I mention that already?).

Stay cool friends.