Beanie learns something new

Last night Ken was at a "going away Happy Hour for a friend he used to work with, so I was on dinner duty. Since Sawyer is always in crisis mode when I come home (NEED TO EAT--- NOW!!!) i was quickly trying to get food ready while not keeping my back turned for more than 10 seconds at a time. While grabbing a plate I turned around to discover Beanie had figured out how to climb up the kitchen chair by using the bottom rungs to push off of and the back of the chair to pull up on. I ran over as he pulled himself up with MUCH pride and then proceeded to stand up and shake the back of the chair. HARD. In those 10 seconds he has learned that if you shake the chair hard enough, it will make the chair move and he LIKES to make the chair move. He likes to do anything that might result with him needing a trip to the ER. Liam now will yell to me, "Mommy! Sawyer is standing on top of the rocking horse!" or, "Mommy! Sawyer is trying to plug in the vacuum cleaner!"

I would like to think that as he gets older, Beanie will mellow out, but then l know I'd just be fooling myself.

UGH

I am drained. Liam has been in full-blown defiant turd mode--so much so that if Emily didn't show up tomorrow I wouldn't be surprised nor would I blame her. Every single thing we ask Liam NOT to do he defiantly turns around and does anyway. It is infuriating. Yesterday he got in trouble at school for talking too loudly and not listening (although he did not have to sit in the "uh-oh chair". Apparently another little boy occupied that seat yesterday!). Today he actually SPIT at Sammy and then threw a stick at her. Like I said, pure and total turd mode and very unlike him. He did everything he could to push all of our buttons today and then would cry about it afterwards. I must say that I managed to stay calm and not raise my voice even when he was being down right ROTTEN. It took all of my willpower but I did it and I think it helped to keep him from getting hysterical which can be the norm when he has not napped and is out of control. So is this typical 4 year old boy behavior? DO they circle back around and return to their sweet selves or do I need to start researching the cost of the therapy he is going to need someday after I hang him up by his toenails??

Paying the Piper

Today it was 10 degrees and snowy. I guess the 70 degree weather was too good to last. I decided that no matter what crap Mother Nature throws my way I am going to best her by getting outside for a run and today was no exception. It was a balmy 4 degrees when I went out to run at lunch and after the initial lung-seizing freeze subsided it was actually quite beautiful. I have some of my favorite runs on days when most people stay inside. There is something about being the only one out in the elements that gives me peace. It is just like on really rainy days...some of my favorite times to run. The temperature is going to be back in the 50's by week's end. Colorado is the one place where I have lived where I have to keep summer running gear and winter thermal gear in the same drawer all year long. You never know what you are going to get!

Feel better brother!!

My brother Jake finally got out of the hospital today. He went in Thursday with a serious and dangerous case of cellulitis. I never realized how terrifying it could be and actually I had never heard of it until this weekend. Luckily my brother was smart enough to know that something wasn't right and got himself to the hospital in time. Jake's case was in his upper leg and they don't really know how it happened--he has to be very careful and take it easy the next week to make sure the infection does not return. He is on every vile, high potent antibiotic under the sun so hopefully it will continue to fight off the bad stuff and he will be back to his old self soon.

Feel better Jake. We love you!!!

Another day like that

Sigh. Having a blue day. Another blue day. It seems that the blue days are more frequent then their counterparts lately. I know I have nothing to feel blue about at this time in my life. I have two beautiful and healthy energetic boys and a husband who likes me at least most of the time. We have a house, car and sources of income. We eat well and are able to even go out every so often. So why do I feel so sad? When I get this way I feel terribly guilty which in turn makes me feel worse, which in turn makes me even MORE guilty, etc. I can't really describe it. I know that as a young child I can remember watching the news (Walter Kronkite) and just feeling so bad for the people on it--the images they would show of Israel and Afghanistan and the little kids toting guns...I remember it well. I also remember one time, laying in bed unable to sleep. Literally sick to my stomach because my dad had gotten called out to go to the scene of a car accident. (My dad was a volunteer firefighter). All I could think about was that a van had went off the road and people were probably dead. I felt so sad for them. I suppose that it comes with the territory of being a creative type. We tend to visualize things more vividly. More life-like. We internalize and apply it to ourselves and that can be scary.

I notice that as an adult I do the same thing. Ken called me out on it a few weeks ago. He pointed out that every time a tragedy happens to someone I go into a funk and get really sad. I had never really thought about it but I realized he was correct. I suppose Freud would say it is because I am not dealing with the bad things that have happened in my life...but then what bad things did I have to deal with when I was a little kid?? I grew up in the kind of home with unending amounts of love and support. I only pray that my kids know that same kind of childhood. Sigh. I guess I am just an emotional sponge. Sucking up the joys and pains and sorrows of the world around me and then feeling guilty about it. Double sigh.

Our time is up. That concludes our session for today...

Beanie: Future Surfer/Snowboarder/Gymnast/Daredevil

Beanie is going to be the one who gives me the most heart palpitations. I can just tell already. I can't believe how naive I was thinking that LIAM was busy and energetic and prone to grey-hair inducing antics... Oh no, no no! Beanie already has him beat and he is not even 15 months old. He has taken more tumbles, has had more scrapes, dove over more things and climbed up more objects than his brother has at age 4.5. The child has ZERO fear of heights, obstacles or speed. He is, luckily, a bit fearful of people he does not know which is a far departure from Liam who has never met a stranger. ("Hey Pizza man! Do you want to come see my new toys??")

Today Emily took the boys to some sort of inflatable play palace (the kind where you need to sign a parental "I will not sue you if my child breaks a leg" waiver beforehand.) Noting Beanie's penchant for heights and climbing I was a little nervous, but Emily called me later today to let me know that the boys managed to make it out without any bone breaks, stitches or major scrapes. Both boys (and Sammy) had a great time playing and after Beanie's initial stranger anxiety subsided he was right there in the mix, playing with the big kids. Emily said in one part of the gym there is a large inflatable area with balls bouncing around that the kids have to run around. She said Sawyer was so sure on his feet that he was actually able to keep up with the older kids and was running right beside them. She said parents were coming up to her commenting on how amazing his balance was. Of course we knew this already--the doctor has told me as much and also Beanie has demonstrated it by standing up on a moving rocking ottoman, crouched in surf position. I think he is probably going to be a kick butt surfer or snowboarder someday. And by the looks of it, maybe even by age 3.

I hate to tell some of you this but...

It was 70 degrees again today and sunny. we are scheduled for one more day of spring weather and then back to winter (or at least more Fall-like) temperatures. I know that my friends and family back east are begging for freezing temps so I almost feel guilty reporting the weather. Almost.

It's all just a little bit of history repeating...

Yesterday was a very long, mentally exhausting day. Sawyer was in a VERY whiny, screaming throw-a-tantrum- kind of mood and Liam was in border-line melt down mode all morning. Despite this we took both boys to the Aquarium in the morning where they appeared to have fun until near the end when Liam kept sitting down tired, asking to go home and Beanie became obsessed with all the drains in the floors. The afternoon and evening did not get much better with Liam having a poop/pee accident all over the bathroom because he waited until the last minute and then Sawyer dumping an entire glass of red wine all over himself and the floor then throwing himself on the new carpet whilst soaked in said red wine. UGH. Days where the boys are constantly crying and whining and hanging on my legs make me eager to go into work on Monday, then make me feel horribly guilty for feeling that way. :-( I am always so impressed/amazed/envious at the stay-at-home moms who seem to always have it together and never seem to look like they could lose their cool. I aspire to have that kind of patience. Mom, how did you ever manage to handle FOUR kids on top of taking care of Grandma every day AND always having a clean house and good, homemade food every day??? Maybe it is because you had mostly angelic, well-behaved girls... ;-)

So last night, after the LONG hard day, I was up with Liam while he was getting ready for bed. Again he starts in with the whole death/dying stuff. He asked me "What do people look like when they die?" and then, "When am I going to die?" It just left me feeling like I had been kicked in the stomach. I asked him, "Are you so concerned with dying because of Uncle Andy?" and he nodded his head and said "Yes". I explained to him that most people don't die until they are really, really old and that he will hopefully grow to be an old, old, old great grandpa. He then turned to me and said "mommy, I don't ever want you to get old!" and I just hugged him tight and told him how I remember saying that EXACT same thing to my Mom when I was his age and how scared it used to make me. I'm amazed that I still remember that night when I was his age crying in bed worried that my parents would grow old and now, as an adult how I pray that my all my loved ones will be fortunate enough TO grow old...

Happy Birthday Mom! (& Leslie)

Happy 40th birthday Mom! (Again!) I really don't know how old my Mom is...she has lied about her age SO often I question SHE even knows the truth. Lucky for her she ages like a fine wine and her real age is hard to prove! For those who don't know my mother well, she is a stinker. Pure and simple. I only hope I can aspire to have half as much spunk/spitfire as she does. I love you Mom!! And happy birthday to my beautiful little niece who is 11(?!) today and not only shares her grandmother's birthdate, but also her ornery spunk. I know we wouldn't have them any other way. Stay warm family and eat some cake and ice cream for me, whenever you dig yourselves out from the frigid temps and are able to go get some...

LOVE you!

Kindergarten Anxiety...

This week marks the beginning of kindergarten registration here in Jefferson County. I never knew enrolling in kindergarten could create so much anxiety. Not for Liam. For ME. Liam is SOOOOO excited to go to kindergarten and talks about it nearly weekly. I, on the other hand, am the one who is having heart palpitations. At first I struggled with sending him to kindergarten this next year since he will just be 5. But he is excelling at preschool and seems more than ready/willing to go.Our neighborhood school is NOT my number one choice for elementary schools. It is not bad, it has a high academic ranking. It is just that it is not the elementary school that leaves me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside like Van Arsdale-the OTHER school nearby our house (but unfortunately NOT the official neighborhood school for us). In Jefferson County you can choose to enroll your child in ANY school...provided there is an opening. Getting into Van Arsdale is a lottery process due to the high amount of people who want to go there. So now we wait until the end of the month to see if Liam made the lottery...

We start 'em early in Colorado...

This morning we woke to about 5 or 6 inches of snow and more still falling. Sun is supposed to come out later and be in the 50's tomorrow...so all of this will probably disappear soon. Liam was excited to put his new shovel to use! I had to laugh--every shovel of snow Ken scooped up Liam replaced with his own shovel of snow...right where Ken just shoveled.

Your Daily Liam

This morning Liam walked into our room and asked me, "Mommy, what do you look like when you die???" Floored by this unexpected question at 7:00 am I looked at him and tried as best as I could to answer. "Well, I guess that would depend Liam. WHY are you asking me this???" (the night before he asked me how people kill people and why people kill people and I was not prepared for THAT one either). Liam answered, "I know how you look. You look like this..." and he proceeded to get on the floor, lay on his back and cross his arms and legs and put them straight up in the air. Before I could respond he said "That is what the dead bug in my window looks like!!" I went into his room and sure enough, there on the windowsill is a huge dead bug laying on its back with it's arms and legs up in the air.

I must admit I was relieved to see the bug, which explains his sudden interest in things living and dead. The "bug in his window" has been troubling him for the past three days. On Wednesday he first spotted it and was distressed but by the time I went to get it, it was gone. Yesterday at nap he was apparently worried about it, because he kept talking about it to Emily. Last night when I went to tuck him at 9:30 he was laying at the opposite end of his bed "to get away from the bug". This morning he must have been relieved to see it was no longer going to be a problem for him. I figure he must have checked on it right when he woke up and then stared and studied it closely in order to give such an accurate portrayal this morning...

Boulder Burning

Yesterday we had another round of exceptionally high winds in the area (65-80 mph gusts). Last week we had a doozy of an all night wind storm that tore out fences, trees, etc. so by comparison, yesterday's wind wasn't as destructive...or so we thought. Apparently the wind tore down a power line that ignited a massive fire in Boulder--up in the mountains. Last night when I drove home you could literally SEE the fire burning up the mountain. 11,000 homes were evacuated. So far three homes have burned and two barns/stables. As of this morning the fire is 30% contained but they are anticipating that if the winds can stay calm that they will have it all contained by the end of the day. Coming into work this morning the air smells like a giant campfire and probably will for some time. Luckily no one has been seriously hurt although some horses were lost. Hoping they get it under control today and those families can return home.

Every girl should have a cockroach ring

Today Liam went to the dentist and did AWESOME. He opened his mouth wide and let them take x-rays and clean his teeth. He was very, very good and as a result the dentist let him pick out a "prize" from the prize drawer. Liam searched for a while and came out with this beauty...a cockroach ring. I said "wow buddy, I should have known you'd pick a spider or a bug." And he said, "No Mommy! I picked this ring for you...you never can have too many rings..."

Sigh. He is such a sweetie and already has figured out at age four how to impress the ladies. I hope he never outgrows his big, sweet generous spirit.

Happy New Year!

Good riddance to 2008! Unfortunately the migraine I got yesterday in 08 has managed to slink its way into 09. Joy. Ken has reminded me that I have been getting more migraines than normal lately and he is right. Nauseating. The only known trigger I can define is the flashing of lights during a movie in a dark theater. But since I haven't been out to a movie in 4 years, that means I need to get busy on figuring these things out. Yesterday we went to the funeral of our CEO's son which definitely did NOT help the migraine. I pray that I never ever have to go to a child's funeral ever again. Horrible. Terrible. Gut wrenching. By the end of the night Ken & I were drained and spent a quiet night in front of the TV watching the Food Network and falling asleep before midnight, which considering the day, was perfectly fine by us.

Happy 2009! May it bring much health & happiness & peace to everyone.