It's all just a little bit of history repeating...

Yesterday was a very long, mentally exhausting day. Sawyer was in a VERY whiny, screaming throw-a-tantrum- kind of mood and Liam was in border-line melt down mode all morning. Despite this we took both boys to the Aquarium in the morning where they appeared to have fun until near the end when Liam kept sitting down tired, asking to go home and Beanie became obsessed with all the drains in the floors. The afternoon and evening did not get much better with Liam having a poop/pee accident all over the bathroom because he waited until the last minute and then Sawyer dumping an entire glass of red wine all over himself and the floor then throwing himself on the new carpet whilst soaked in said red wine. UGH. Days where the boys are constantly crying and whining and hanging on my legs make me eager to go into work on Monday, then make me feel horribly guilty for feeling that way. :-( I am always so impressed/amazed/envious at the stay-at-home moms who seem to always have it together and never seem to look like they could lose their cool. I aspire to have that kind of patience. Mom, how did you ever manage to handle FOUR kids on top of taking care of Grandma every day AND always having a clean house and good, homemade food every day??? Maybe it is because you had mostly angelic, well-behaved girls... ;-)

So last night, after the LONG hard day, I was up with Liam while he was getting ready for bed. Again he starts in with the whole death/dying stuff. He asked me "What do people look like when they die?" and then, "When am I going to die?" It just left me feeling like I had been kicked in the stomach. I asked him, "Are you so concerned with dying because of Uncle Andy?" and he nodded his head and said "Yes". I explained to him that most people don't die until they are really, really old and that he will hopefully grow to be an old, old, old great grandpa. He then turned to me and said "mommy, I don't ever want you to get old!" and I just hugged him tight and told him how I remember saying that EXACT same thing to my Mom when I was his age and how scared it used to make me. I'm amazed that I still remember that night when I was his age crying in bed worried that my parents would grow old and now, as an adult how I pray that my all my loved ones will be fortunate enough TO grow old...