The past week has been a whirlwind of chaos. After Sawyer's rough 7 plus days of the flu (which were preceded by Ken's week of strep), and a house under constant facelifting, we are all a little crispy. The interior of the house was painted last week. The guy was supposed to start on Tuesday, but ended up with...you guessed it, the flu. So they sent a back up painter who although very good, was very slow and also misfortunate (his car died mid-week and he spent 3 hours of painting time stuck getting his car fixed.
So by Friday afternoon he finally finished up but we were unable to move anything back into place until we were sure it was dry. We stayed up late that night getting other things done. Saturday morning we were up and at 'em and operating at full throttle. Hanging pictures, cleaning windows, taking stuff to storage, last minute repairs to the deck, etc. The carpets were cleaned that night and after they dried we were able to move everything back several hours later. I stayed up nearly to midnight mopping floors and cleaning toilets.
Sunday morning rolled around and the final push was on. A few more pictures were hung, staging of rooms was completed and last minute tidying accomplished. The realtor came at 9:30 to take a look and he gave us the go ahead to list. We were ready. He took some photos and while he and Ken signed (literally 2 hours worth of legal paperwork) I took Liam to swim lessons. When I came home they were still signing papers. The realtor left after 1:00 and put the "for sale sign" out front before he drove away. We are officially listed (which is very, very exciting to Mr. Liam for some reason.)
Oh, and I turned 40 yesterday too. Maybe that is why I feel so exhausted? :-)
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
A Long Seven Days
My baby boy has been sick. Last monday, on Valentine's Day, I got a call from his preschool to come and get him. He was feverish and "off"--not his normal chipper, playful self. By the time I got to the school, he was like a glowing ember. His cheeks and ears were bright red--but he was in a good mood. He wanted to eat Valentine's candy and he wanted to play. I called the pediatrician's office but they couldn't see him until the following morning. So I took him to Urgent Care. By the time we got there, he was not as jovial and just wanted to be held. The diagnosis: Strep throat (Daddy had it a week earlier) and an ear infection in his right ear. They gave him Motrin, put him on antibiotics and said he should start feeling better in 24 to 48 hours. Sawyer had a restless night and no one got much sleep.
Ken left early the next morning for a business trip and I went to work at my new job. Grandma stayed home with Sawyer to wait for the miracle of antibiotics (the doctor said 24 hours on it and he was free to go to school). That night when I came home he was not much better. He didn't eat all day and was still very feverish. I made a trip to the pharmacy to load up on Motrin and then back to buy a working thermometer (which ended up NOT working). That night he slept even worse then the night before. He was up every half hour crying and miserable and feverish. I kept wondering when the antibiotics were going to work their magic.
The next morning Sawyer stayed home again and when I came home from work he seemed even worse off then past two days. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink and just whimpered to be held. He seemed warm even though Grandma had given him Motrin earlier. I went to put him in the tub and noticed a bizarre mottling of his skin--it looked like his veins were spider webs criss-crossing under his skin. He started shaking and seemed suddenly sleepy. The urgent care nurse from Monday night called to follow up on him and when I told her what was going on, she said we needed to take him to the hospital.
So off he and I went to Children's Hospital. Liam stayed with Grandma and Ken was sitting on a plane somewhere, unaware of what was going on. By the time I got to the hospital, Sawyer was out--either asleep or slightly unconscious (now that I look back, I am not sure which). His fever was 104 and he was a miserable little mess. The doctor tested him for bladder/kidney infection and tested him again for a resistant strain of Strep. When both came back negative she concluded that he had the full blown flu on top of the strep and on top of the ear infection. She said it was quite possibly Swine flu but she wasn't going to test to confirm since treatment was the same either way--5 to 7 days of misery, followed by one to two weeks of generalized discomfort and fatigue.
Hooray.
So here we are, a week later and Sawyer is finally, FINALLY fever and Motrin free for the first time since last Sunday. He actually ate a little bit and only woke up 3 times last night (progress!). He is still a bit whiny and congested, but he is hopefully rounding the bend. Like I said, a very long 7 days of sleepless nights, tight work deadlines and a house of chaos.
It is times like this that I am once again reminded how fortunate we are to have very healthy, active kids the majority of the time. Seven days of miserable, feverish, lethargy is really not so bad in the grand scheme of things.
Ken left early the next morning for a business trip and I went to work at my new job. Grandma stayed home with Sawyer to wait for the miracle of antibiotics (the doctor said 24 hours on it and he was free to go to school). That night when I came home he was not much better. He didn't eat all day and was still very feverish. I made a trip to the pharmacy to load up on Motrin and then back to buy a working thermometer (which ended up NOT working). That night he slept even worse then the night before. He was up every half hour crying and miserable and feverish. I kept wondering when the antibiotics were going to work their magic.
The next morning Sawyer stayed home again and when I came home from work he seemed even worse off then past two days. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink and just whimpered to be held. He seemed warm even though Grandma had given him Motrin earlier. I went to put him in the tub and noticed a bizarre mottling of his skin--it looked like his veins were spider webs criss-crossing under his skin. He started shaking and seemed suddenly sleepy. The urgent care nurse from Monday night called to follow up on him and when I told her what was going on, she said we needed to take him to the hospital.
So off he and I went to Children's Hospital. Liam stayed with Grandma and Ken was sitting on a plane somewhere, unaware of what was going on. By the time I got to the hospital, Sawyer was out--either asleep or slightly unconscious (now that I look back, I am not sure which). His fever was 104 and he was a miserable little mess. The doctor tested him for bladder/kidney infection and tested him again for a resistant strain of Strep. When both came back negative she concluded that he had the full blown flu on top of the strep and on top of the ear infection. She said it was quite possibly Swine flu but she wasn't going to test to confirm since treatment was the same either way--5 to 7 days of misery, followed by one to two weeks of generalized discomfort and fatigue.
Hooray.
So here we are, a week later and Sawyer is finally, FINALLY fever and Motrin free for the first time since last Sunday. He actually ate a little bit and only woke up 3 times last night (progress!). He is still a bit whiny and congested, but he is hopefully rounding the bend. Like I said, a very long 7 days of sleepless nights, tight work deadlines and a house of chaos.
It is times like this that I am once again reminded how fortunate we are to have very healthy, active kids the majority of the time. Seven days of miserable, feverish, lethargy is really not so bad in the grand scheme of things.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Letting go
Last night I went to a memorial gathering for a former coworker and running friend of mine. He died a week ago. He took his own life.
I have struggled all week with my emotions. It has been hard to think of much else. I had seen him a few weeks ago and he smiled and laughed and gushed about his children and he told me "Life is good!" Clearly, it wasn't good enough.
It has stirred up a bee's nest of emotions and questions: How could you...? Why didn't you...? Why DID you? After I found out, I found myself very angry. He and I had talked about what an ugly, ugly thing suicide is. He would always shake his head sadly and say, how awful for the family. How tragic. How selfish. How senseless.
And now it is his family and friends who are shaking their heads sadly saying, "How senseless."
Last night Ken and I came home and sat up and talked for many hours, trying to make some sort of sense of the senseless. When I got angry and said "How could he do that to his children? He loved them SO much!" Ken said, "so knowing that, think of how much pain he must have been in to choose to leave them?" I have seen and lived through the level of despair a suicidal person goes through. This morning I put aside my anger and disappointment and reminded myself that you can't love someone enough to make them love themselves. I've tried. It doesn't work.
I wish he would have sought help. Let someone, anyone, know of these demons he was secretly fighting. But he didn't and now he is gone. And even though I am very saddened and heartsick for what his children are going through and will continue to go through, I am choosing to take the anger and let it go.
Goodbye John. And as you said to others so many times, "you are special."
I have struggled all week with my emotions. It has been hard to think of much else. I had seen him a few weeks ago and he smiled and laughed and gushed about his children and he told me "Life is good!" Clearly, it wasn't good enough.
It has stirred up a bee's nest of emotions and questions: How could you...? Why didn't you...? Why DID you? After I found out, I found myself very angry. He and I had talked about what an ugly, ugly thing suicide is. He would always shake his head sadly and say, how awful for the family. How tragic. How selfish. How senseless.
And now it is his family and friends who are shaking their heads sadly saying, "How senseless."
Last night Ken and I came home and sat up and talked for many hours, trying to make some sort of sense of the senseless. When I got angry and said "How could he do that to his children? He loved them SO much!" Ken said, "so knowing that, think of how much pain he must have been in to choose to leave them?" I have seen and lived through the level of despair a suicidal person goes through. This morning I put aside my anger and disappointment and reminded myself that you can't love someone enough to make them love themselves. I've tried. It doesn't work.
I wish he would have sought help. Let someone, anyone, know of these demons he was secretly fighting. But he didn't and now he is gone. And even though I am very saddened and heartsick for what his children are going through and will continue to go through, I am choosing to take the anger and let it go.
Goodbye John. And as you said to others so many times, "you are special."
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