Yesterday, while the boys were at school, I snuck out and got our Christmas tree even though we told the boys we weren't going to get it until this weekend. Ken put it up for me and I started to decorate it. I don't know what made me decide to put it up early...normally I wait, put it up and then yank it down the day after Christmas. It's not that I don't enjoy the holiday... it's just something about having up a bunch of decorations for more then a a week or two leaves me feeling claustrophobic... craving space in an increasingly smaller living space. Plus, the past few years have been hard for me to get into "the season." I put on a happy face for the boys but deep down I just wanted it to be over.
But not this year. This year I am actually really into the whole shabang. I have had Christmas music playing since Thanksgiving (VERY unlike me). Part of the reason could be that I am no longer gone all day at a job I hate, constantly stressed and pressed for time. Christmas for a working parent means even more time crunching in already time-starved schedule. Even though I miss the income, I certainly don't miss the stress that came with it. (And it's not lost to me that the year I am most excited about Christmas is the year I can't really afford it. Oh the irony!) Another reason I am into it this year is because of a certain tow-headed boy who is over the moon excited about everything. Every day Beanie sees the Christmas tree at his preschool he is just as excited and happy as he was the day before when he saw it. Every. Time. His enthusiasm is infectious and it makes my heart swell.
When we pulled into the driveway last night he spotted the lights immediately. He ran inside and detected each and every Christmas decoration and he did it with MUCH glee. He then "helped" me hang the ornaments on the tree by neatly placing every single one of them on the same two branches. He said "We sure made the tree look beautiful didn't we Mommy?!" We sure did.
Liam, on the other hand, has lost some of his enthusiasm. He didn't want to help decorate the tree because he was busy working on an art project. I see a lot of the little wide-eyed boy growing out of him. He even told me the other day "I'm six years old Mommy. I'm too OLD for toys." It was a sad little knife in my heart. Of course he changed his tune only a few seconds later by showing me his "Wish List" but still...the wheels are already in motion. He has always been a bit of an old soul, and I know that the days of him believing are numbered and I am going to hold onto them as long as I can.
I have only wonderful memories of Christmas from my childhood and I want the same thing for my guys. So this year I am going to fully throw myself into Christmas. We will bake many cookies, we will see many lights and maybe we will even carol. We will make ornaments and maybe even string popcorn garland. (Maybe). And most importantly, I will actually be present and in the moment as opposed to checking off things from my to-do/get-it-done list.
Currier and Ives will have nothing on me.
No comments:
Post a Comment