Please Don't Grow So Fast

Liam J. First day of 2nd Grade. Age 7, going on 37.

Last night while Liam and I were having a rare but welcome snuggle on the couch (he's now "too old" to snuggle) he told me, "I decided I am going to save up all of my money." I naturally asked him, "What are you saving your money to buy?" He replied, "I've been thinking and I decided I will save up my money now so when I graduate from college and get married, I'll be able to buy a house right away." I was a bit shocked by his answer, but I know that he is a planner. He already has his life all mapped out.

I asked him, "So who is the lucky person you are going to marry?" He looked at me, annoyed. "I thought we weren't going to talk about that..." (referring to a certain crush he has on a certain adorable, future scientist in his class named "Caitlin"). I said "I am not trying to embarrass you. Your future wife could be anybody. I was just wondering, since you seem so concerned about buying a house and everything, if you had someone picked out already??"  Still clearly annoyed and a bit disgusted by my apparent cluelessness, he said "Mo-o-o-o-o-o-m! Chances are the person I marry I don't even KNOW yet. They are probably someone I'll meet in college!" DUH!

It's moments like this that I sincerely want to cry. He is growing so fast. He has always been growing so fast. He is an old soul and it is painfully clear to us (more so everyday), that he is just biding his time until he can get his life going. We are merely a temporary launch pad. I see it more and more everyday. He is getting more serious. More introspective. More independent. He is pulling away and dodging my hugs and Heaven forbid, my kisses! "Mom!! Please don't kiss me! You may give me a hug, but no kisses." Sigh. It really is enough to break a Mama's heart.

I knew this would happen and I know it is part of their healthy development. Independence is good. It wouldn't be good if he needed and wanted me 24/7. But it still makes me really, really sad. While I love having conversations with the intelligent, sensitive boy he is growing up to be, I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the little, lovable toddler who actually needed me. If only for a little while.

Liam J. Age 2 and forever ago.