BELIEVE.

The past few weeks have been a bit rough. My mood has been up and down and back again seven ways to Sunday. When I first chose to leave Full-Time Employment in Corporate America to paint and illustrate I was a bit nervous, but generally optimistic that I was going to succeed. Somewhere over the course of the past month the optimism has disappeared and in its place, a gnawing, nagging cyst of doubt has grown. Like any dutiful cluster of unhealthy cells, the doubt has continued to get bigger, eating away at my self confidence. On more days then not, I question "why"? And "how"? And "What-the-hell-was-I-thinking?!" I have become quite frankly, scared. I question myself and my abilities, daily.

I don't like feeling this way.

I like to teach my children to be sure of themselves. I like them to know that if they put their head and heart into something and try their hardest, they will succeed. Lately, Liam has struggled with overcoming his gigantic fear of jumping into the water. We have told him if he believes in himself, he can do anything. So it should come as no surprise to surprise to me that he would turn around and teach me back. Tonight as I was driving with Liam to swim lessons we talked about believing in yourself and in your abilities. For some reason the conversation turned to the painting I am working on and need to deliver tomorrow morning. I told Liam I was really worried that my client wasn't going to like it (because *I* don't like it.) Liam interrupted me and said "But Mommy, you just need to BELIEVE he will like it. I know you are good artist and I like your paintings, but now YOU just need to believe you are good too."

And he is right.