Happy belated Mother's Day to all moms, wannabe moms and mom-like people. I spent the day hanging with my best guys and reminding myself why I love this wonderful and often times challenging thing called motherhood.
A few days ago I read an article about "Moms Who Run". In it, it documented the ever increasing number of mom's who are running and working out. The article goes on to talk about how "today's Mom" is the queen of multi-tasking. Today's mom can get up and get the kids ready for school, then go off and work a full day, come home and fix dinner, do homework, give baths, bake cookies for the bake sale and still make the time to train for marathons, and triathalons, etc. The article suggested "Today's Mom" is a superstar of getting things done and taking care of everyone else all the while realizing that taking care of herself is just as important. Wow, doesn't that sound awesome?
I had to laugh when I read the article because by it's definition, I should be that kind of Super Mom--But I'm not. Not even a little bit. If anything, I thought the article painted a false and rosy picture which sets up "today's Mom" for failure. It's unrealistic. While I do work full time, take care of kids and train for marathons I do it all feeling like I am only half-succeeding in everything. Or half failing, depending on whether your cup is half full or half empty. Nine out of ten times I rush out of the door realizing I did not sign a permission slip, pay the electric bill or apply deodorant. I leave feeling rushed and overwhelmed and I get home feeling like a disheveled trainwreck that should elicit a "look what just blew in" kind of response from her family. Most days I am simply getting by.
Now I am sure there are moms who are much more organized then I am who can and do succeed in being the new "Super Mom" of our generation. But she isn't me. I am not capable of "doing it all" or at least not "doing it all", well. I am learning success will come from focusing on the things that need to be done well. Like loving, teaching and learning from our children. If I can succeed in that, then I will feel like a super mom indeed.
2 comments:
I know that feeling of half succeeding, half failing well. As a former competitive athlete who is struggling to find, or is it make, the time to be as fit as I want to be I wrestle with the guilt involved with wanting to prioritize something as seemingly superficial as uber-fitness when I have so many other, perhaps more meaningful, things to do with my time. Yet I like being fit. My identity has always been wrapped together with being fit, an athlete, strong. So how does a mother come to terms with this? Still searching for that answer.
I feel guilt often and for a myriad of reasons. Recently I was talking to a mom who learned I was a marathon runner. She said "Well I would love to be able to work out like that but my kid's are young and I want to spend this special time with them. I can be fit when they are older." It made me feel about 1/2" tall. What I should have told her was I was selfishly working out to stay fit but even more importantly, to stay sane! I'm a much better Mom when I run. I am sure if polled my kids would say "do you like mommy better before or after a run?" they would say the latter. So maybe instead of beating ourselves up about the time we take away, we should acknowledge the positive things we add by being fit. And sane. Sane is good...
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